Tag Archives: Cutlery Shed

Video Launch: Cutlery Shed

Video Launch: Julia Turner’s Cutlery Shed with Lauren Bradford and Isolde
Wednesday 17th December, 7:30pm at The Old Bookshop, Bristol.

As the new waitress at a large Melbourne restaurant in 2011 Julia was sent every night to polish cutlery in the stinky, hot bin room. There was a lot of cutlery and it took many long dull hours. The boredom led to some woeful singing and out of the drudge came a song. Cutlery Shed was recorded for Julia’s debut album in late 2012 with full band.

This new release is an acapella version arranged for Eko, a vocal trio made up of Julia Turner, Lauren Bradford and Isolde. After larking about with cutlery and choreography they thought it would be fun to make a music video. Thanks to Ben at The Old Bookshop the trio were able to use his beautifully quirky bar as a backdrop – he even makes an appearance in the film as evil restaurant manager, though this is entirely fictional and Eko think Ben is one of the nicest people they’ve ever met. Created by Dan King this music video is comic and well crafted with vocal harmonies that will raise the roof. A must see for any Old Bookshop veteran.

There will be live music from Isolde, Lauren Bradford and Julia Turner from 7:30pm. The 5-minute film will be screened at 10pm.

Dear Manager: Back in the Cutlery Shed

When you hired me I was happy
I’d secured a steady job
The food was good and the pay not bad…
But do you have to be such a nob?

Does it please you to be so pompous?
To strut across the floor?
If each sentence wasn’t a put down,
You might enjoy life a bit more.

‘We don’t lean’
‘When we walk, we walk fast’
If you don’t stop spouting rubbish,
This walk her will be our last.

I’m constantly on edge- trying to look busy.
In this police outfit I’m majorly over heating.
Are we trying to stress the diners out?
Or does this getup appeal to a fetish niche?

I’m wearing this smile for you,
It appeared when I pictured my imminent departure.
How many times will you walk these tables,
Leaving misery and anxiety in your wake?



Me in my ridiculous uniform!

I found the above piece when sifting through a box of stuff I’d posted home from Australia. I wrote it after a particularly stressful shift at the restaurant I worked at on my arrival in Melbourne in 2011. The uniform was horrible – I felt like I was heading out on police patrol not to a waitressing job. The trousers are proper traders’ pants so they are really thick and on hot summer days they gave me heat rash. Very impractical.

These shifts inspired the song Cutlery Shed so I can’t be too bitter.